For more than seven years, a developer in Somerville, New Jersey, has wanted to renovate a dilapidated service station and use it for another commercial enterprise. After initially receiving approval, his request was denied. The reason: not enough parking spaces.
This is a common reason for rejecting applications before a zoning board. Apparently, zoning officials are much better at making business decisions than business owners. Why else would they be sitting on the zoning board? I am sure that their only motivation is to protect business owners from acting on poor decisions.
If a business doesn’t have enough parking for its customers, it will lose business. Customers will get ticked off and take their business elsewhere. They will tell their friends. And they will post on Facebook and Twitter, and soon the whole world will know how bad this business is. The business owner will face financial ruin, be shunned by his community, and have to go live in a shack in Kenya with Obama’s brother. The zoning board is saving him from this calamity.
Of course, the business owner could not possibly address an issue as complex as parking. After all, he has to deal with hiring and training employees, marketing, accounting, ordering materials and supplies, satisfying customers, maintaining equipment, and meeting the demands of meddling government officials. These problems are nothing compared to figuring out where customers might park their vehicles.
Fortunately, zoning officials in Somerville have prevented what would surely be a disaster. And the residents of that fair city still have a dilapidated service station to show off to all of their visitors.